| Category | Quote | E-Mail this quote | | Aggravation | No man who has wrestled with a self-adjusting card table can ever be quite the man he once was.
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| Desperation | Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation.
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| Dogs | The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity, but man has fequently dragged the dog down to his.
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| Electricity | Her own mother lived the latter years of her life in the horrible suspicion that electricity was dripping invisibly all over the house.
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| Excess | You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.
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| Fool | You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.
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| Heaven | If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have know will go to heaven, and very , very few persons.
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| Humor | Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
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| Indolence | It is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all.
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| Insult | A man should not insult his wife publicly at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of the home.
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| Insutls | It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.
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| Life's purpose | All human beings should try to learn before they die,
What they are running from, and to, and why.
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| Logic | Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
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| Men | Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.
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| Psychiatrists | I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.
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| Questions | It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
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| Saftey | There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
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| wit and humor | The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
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| Women | I hate women because they always know where things are.
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